Letting Him Go

Last week I awoke to the theme from Dr. Who, my ringtone, it was my Dad telling me that one of my oldest friends had died.
He was the inspiration for Kevin's friend Tony and one of the main reasons why I have this Blog.

 RIP Troy Carter.

The sky was crowded with clouds baleful, the color of sadness, not fat but pregnant overdue in fact, threatening to give birth to a deluge at any moment.  Kevin had been on the front porch watching the skies. The impending flood felt fitting, not only because rain was a constant in the Mississippi River Basin,  but also because of how grief stricken he was.
Tony was gone. It didn't feel real.
The loss of his friend, one of his first friends, struck Kevin like the world had literally crashed into him.
Tony was gone. It didn't feel real.

 Kevin couldn't seem to get a grasp on the truth. He donned the black suit, crisply starched grey shirt with it's white collar and cuffs, he fastened the cufflinks and tied a perfect double Windsor knot. All in slow motion and without the need for thought.
Kevin, knew that he wasn't the worlds best friend .
Loving other people, had been a challenge all his life, and for most of the people in, his life, Kevin decided they were not worth the added effort.
Not so with Tony and Jay, they had been his friends since before Kevin's first bicycle. Tony, and his twin, had shown up to the Church his Father Kevin Jr. had in the family garage.
The man dropped his head, the feeling of hollowness threatened to engulf him.
Tony was gone. It didn't feel real.

The little quiet boy who somehow never was outshone by his verbose twin or by a much younger, but still persuasive Kevin.
The sink and vanity groaned as Kevin slumped and  his full weight leaned against it.
Tony was gone. It didn't feel real.
He was going to his funeral.
How the fuck did this happen? They had just spoke.
Tony and Jay were the only people to whom he reached out, even with them he let years pass.
Kevin always intended to talk more.

 He had never let Tony go they would always find each other.
The ride to the Funeral home just happened. None of the scenery registered.

 Even though every nook and cranny of his corner of Choctaw county Alabama had been explored, with Tony, all he saw were his memories. 
Kevin saw them, The Three musketeers, three Indian warriors, brimming with baby fat and imagination.

Himself Jay and Tony.

They had vanquished Dragons, and explored Mars, they had stolen watermelons, and shot their homemade bows.

 Tony had been the best shot of them all, and when they were 12 had proven it by putting two bullets in the same entry wound on an opossum.
The church was packed, and Kevin allowed himself a small smile. Tony deserved the attention. Mostly because, he had never sought it in life.

Tony had been content in the shadow cast by his boss until one day he took his tools and decided to work for himself.

 As with everything that the quiet man touched it had become a raving success. He wasn't just a welder, he was and artist whose medium just happened to be metal.
Kevin, sat beside Jay, Tony's twin. He knew that Jay was hurting and he rested one of his massive hands on his friend's shoulder.

Kevin, didn’t know Tony’s younger siblings well, but he didn't know his own that well either.
Kevin’s Father performed the service, and Kevin realized how proud he was to be the man's son.

His Father related a story about asking Tony 

 “If he was going to spend his life following my son?”

Tony, had told him that story, but had neglected to say that “The wise older dude” was Kevin Jr.
Tony was gone. It didn't feel real.

 He had been such an integral part of Kevin's day to day.  Kevin had been to all but two of the continuous States and had lived in Puerto Rico for two years, he had more stamps in his passport than he had ever known was possible, and the one thing that was consistent about every place he had been was, that he had spoken to Tony in every single one of those places.
The tears came of their own accord.

When he had held his extremely long and healthy son Kevin Delaney IV, he called Tony.
Tony was gone. It didn't feel real.
Kevin, didn't hear his name being called although his Father’s church was no longer in their garage, and had a state of the art sound system complete with CCTV on big screens, the technology didn't penetrate his grief.
Jay was beating his ribs.

“Aye bruh, go say sumptin nice bout my brother main.”
Kevin, got to his feet, he swore the pop of he knees had been heard throughout the building. Kevin Jr,  smiled at his son, at the man he had become.

The man coming towards him had gone through life the hard way, and made it through a diamond. Kevin Jr was aware that Tony had been part of the shaping and molding process that had made Kevin III into the man he was.
As his namesake made it to the podium, after having snatched away from the youth minister who had tried to assist him, The octogenarian preacher wrapped his much taller son in a bear hug.

The much larger Kevin spoke into his Father's ear.

“Daddy Tony is gone. What am I gonna do?”
Kevin Jr, leaned back still holding his 6ft 5in son's forearms, he looked into the light brown eyes, and saw the baby that fought for his life despite being premature and having low birth weight, the child who was hesitant to make friends, and the man that was his friend, and whispered.

“You are Kevin Delaney III man, you're strongest person I know. That boy was as good as gold, and he loved you. You is the only one that can send him to his peace. Gone let him go home. He always did follow you around to much. “
Kevin, stepped to the Mic and cast the youth minister a dirty look that kept him from approaching and adjusting the microphone.

 Kevin’s deep rumbling voice was able to be heard without the few added inches.
“Tony showed up at my house one night at bible study. He was at my house again the next morning, and again the next day…”

Kevin's deep baritone cracked and his Father made to rise, Kevin shook his head in the negative, before continuing;
“I didn't want to be friends. I didn't want no friends at all. He forced me into it. He wouldn't go away so I figured “since I'm stuck with ya.”
A light sprinkle of laughter spread through the audience.

 Jay, laughed loudest of all.

 “I have considered Tony and Jay my brothers all my life and I am going to miss him so much!” Kevin shook his head again and  looked skyward

 “Aye bruh it's me, stop hanging around here. You know we coming one day. Just gone get things set up and we'll be there.”

 He paused.

 “Not soon Main, but I will see you again.”
Tony was gone, and somehow suddenly it felt real.