Friday, February 5, 2021

Tragic Comedy


I’m working a 12 hour shift today before I go to work at the Club.
A conversation with a friend reminded me of the night I got shot.
It might have been shock.
Distinctly recall exactly what I said.
Thought.
Felt.
Did.
Everything.
Every 
Single.
Fucking.
 Thing.
Some extremely painful.
You know that sickening, fill your mouth with salt water, rearing, ripping copper tasting, overwhelming, turn your bowels to a painful cauldron type of pain? 
No?
Count your blessings?
Some of my sisters who have been shot and given birth say it’s an unwinnable tie.
Some of my thoughts were graphic.
Some silly.
Some drug induced.
The best way I can tell you what was going on in my head is to just put the thoughts on this page as they occurred.
I’m starting when the shot hit me in the back.
For detail purpose; I had been holding my cigarettes in one hand and was in the process of lighting one.
Fuck was that?
Damn a motherfucker shot me!
Shit!
Again.
Gotta buss back.
Fucking bitch.
Fucking fuck.
Ow.
My fucking hand!
Motherfucker!
God.
That was in the chest.
Anit gonna cry like a bitch.
God.
My ass!
Fuck.
That hurts like a bitch.
Think that one was in the nuts.
Can’t live without the Guy, Lord.
If he’s Dead go ahead and take me.
What the fuck?
When did I fall?
My finger!
I can see the fucking street through my finger nail.
[Aloud]
“Guess I won’t be playing the piano.”
My beautiful hand!
Who the fuck? 
I’m going to kill em!
My Woman!
Oh wow.
She’s gonna freak out!
Gonna leave me!
Yeah.
I’m going to kill this fucker.
Fuck can’t I stand?
Jesus Christ!
Oh wow!
Fuck.
Oh yeah.
That fucking hurts.
Really hope My Dick is still attached.
Man.
My Woman!
Ah fuck.
No I anit giving you my gun!
Oh yeah.
12.
“Here!”
“Shit”
Oh this fucking hurts!
“Aye hand me them cigarettes bro. I’m bout to be in the hospital for a minute.”
“Aye sis call my girl?”
“It’s the last number.”
Aye bro you 2 anit enough to put me in the ambulance.
Oh ahhh God.
Please God.
That hurts.
“Ppreciate ya sis.”
“I’m good.”
"Nah, I'm Gucci."
I’m scared.
Fuck happened.
Scared then Fuck.
“Aye man can y’all cut off the right pants leg first?”
“I gotta make sure my Dick’s still attached.”
“I’m not going into shock, I’m worried bout my Dick!”
Oh I’m scared.
God what’s gonna happen.
What if I can't ever Walk again?
I might be going into shock.
“Say little Buddy, I am hurting pretty fucking good.” 
Oh thank you God!
It’s still there!
“Its still there!”
Oh my God.
“Oh my God it’s beautiful right?” 
“Oh shit my bad lil Buddy.”
Fuck is we fucking doing?
Taking the motherfucking scenic fucking route?
Hurry the fuck up.
This shit really fucking hurts.
“Say shawty.”
“Not you lil Buddy.”
“Aye Shawty?”
“Fuck is we doing? Taking the scenic fucking route? I’m fucking hurting back here!”
[Black out]
Doors open.
Get some fucking help.
Dumbass.
I weigh a lot.
Dumbass.
You couldn’t lift me at the club.
What you take something?
Dumb fucker.
Nice.
Halfway in this motherfucker. Now the bloods rushing to my Head.
What type of inbreeds are these?
“Ahhh”
“Fuck!”
“I think I’m going to vomit!”
Idiot.
Stupid.
Stupid motherfucker.
Idiotic motherfucker.
“Aye can y’all please get some help?”
Okay.
Let’s go.
This is like a episode of House.™
Fucking love fucking House.
Whatever they gave me is some wonderful shit.
Feel better.
Fuzzy.
What’s that noise?
Like wa-wa?
Shit!
She’s here.
How?
“Hey.”
Stay cool.
“I’m good.”
“Cause I am.”
“I’ll be back at work in a week or two.”
“Aye don’t worry. I checked. My Dick is still there.”
“It should still work too.”
Fuck did I say that silly shit?


I had better stop there.
Kinda want you to respect me in the morning.









2 comments:

  1. authordaniellegrace@gmail.comFebruary 7, 2021 at 3:57 PM

    Our minds go in strange directions in trauma. I respect how you alternate between the action and the concern for your human needs. That you can find any lightness in this situation shows that the creative and the contemplative go hand-in-hand. You were in pain, but you still wanted to know you could experience pleasure beyond the moment. Good write.����

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I rarely revisit these stories.
      Especially not this one.
      So I'm extremely tardy in my reply, please forgive me. Thank You.
      Your comment was really appreciated.
      Reading it helped in a very dark moment.
      I'm so pleased this resonated with you.

      Delete

Abduction

It's hot in here.  Stifling. Suffocating. Dark.  Almost hope they come beat me again, just so that I can get out of the trunk.  They do....